Poggers champ update.
So, it’s been how long exactly? I wrote my last post on October 8th, currently it is April 8th, so exactly 6 months on the dot? I just noticed that now and it’s pretty wild because something just told me to write something, anything on here, right now, so why not something light and easy as to what’s been going on this past half a year.
Well for starters, I turned 22 years old now POG, but who gives a damn about that. As for my mental health, I believe it has quite drastically improved, especially now that I have not only a renewed sense, but a SIGNIFICANTLY improved sense of direction and aspirations now, and what I want / need to do, which we shall get into in a moment. I stopped taking my ADD medication just over a month ago too because you’re not really supposed to take them for as long consistently without breaks, as I did, so I was like screw it I’ll drop them for some time, and amazingly, nothing bad has happened I believe, I don’t think I’ve noticed my ADD coming back or anything either which is pretty wild, dare I say it, it’s like I am “cured” of it. Or more likely, in that half a year I developed my brain enough to understand how to navigate in general.
As for the improved sense of direction and aspirations, my passions and desires obviously still remain the same, it’s just that I’ve significantly improved how I go about them, without yapping about it too much I shall just post a few images below of SOME of the stuff I’ve been getting into.
Basically, I FINALLY got over the fear and anxiety of diving into the mathematical side of my scientific passions, and just said fuck it YOLO, and much to my amazement, but relative unsurprise to the few people beside me, I’ve been kind of excelling. Yes it is not exactly by any means “easy” especially with my absolutely retarded circumstances and odds against me, powered by a whole 9 failed grades of “education” hahahaha, so the learning curve is absolutely amazingly steep, but yet, that is EXACTLY how I have come to love it. I’ve realized that mental and intellectual stimulation is exactly what I had been lacking, and I was feeling and deeply struggling with constant feelings of ennui, and emptiness, and constantly feeling directionless, and consequently getting depressed as a result, which made me feel even less like doing anything, it’s a vicious cycle.
In the quite dog crap images above, it’s just some little things I’ve been doing, namely quantum physics and astrophysics at the same time. More specifically, in quantum physics I’ve been learning the basics like the Schrödinger equation and its variants, at least so far, and for astrophysics it’s been general relativity, you know that stuff that Einstein came up with that transformed our understanding of the universe on large scales. And specifically, I’ve been playing around with orbital mechanics, and relativistic deflection of light or particles, due to intense gravity, as well as special relativity which is majorly about how speed affects the distance and time uniquely experienced by things and people, time and distance dilation / contraction if you will. So for example, I imagined a scenario where our sun suddenly collapsed into a black hole, did the calculations for it like how big its event horizon, or the “black” part would be, which would be about 2953 meters, our absolutely huge sun condensed into what would fit into central New York / Manhattan region, that is pretty wild, then I calculated the dilation of time experienced by someone chilling at the event horizon, and someone 10x the distance of the event horizon’s radius away, how much it would deflect light when it would approach at a certain distance, the innermost stable circular orbit for absolutely anything that has any mass (orbital mechanics), etc. etc., it was so much fun and so informative even if it was relatively (pun very much intended) straight-forward. I did the same light deflection thing for the sun, repeating the same historical experiment that was the first solid verification of general relativity, how much our sun deflects light that goes past it and towards us. Basically insanely fancy geometry, at its core anyway.
And the theories, oh the theories. Where to even start? Well I have also been COOKIN in that regard as well, anything but just sitting and doing nothing. And my theories have gone from what I have previously posted here, or briefly mentioned in my previous post, to stuff FAR MORE fantastic, richer, deeper, more complex, and multidisciplinary than I could have ever imagined so little time ago. Craziest part is, as far as I can tell and whoever I have told this stuff to who might know a thing or two about this stuff, has also told me that as far as they can tell, my theories seem to be very plausible both logically and scientifically. I.E, I am not spewing complete fairytales and nonsense either, hopefully anyway.
And speaking of that, and also what exactly set me on this next major step? Diving into the maths as well and all that? Well I stumbled upon lectures from Carlo Rovelli, a very popular and smart theoretical physicist, and also one of the founders of loop quantum gravity, which if you remember, was the first proper theory I had ever come up with for anything in this stuff, mentioned briefly in my previous post again, and through both the lectures of him on loop quantum gravity, and other related stuff, and lectures from some other equally popular and respected physicists again about quantum related stuff, I discovered that basically, most if not all of my both theories on these fields and beyond, including astrophysics too, and my general critiques, opinions, views, etc. on science, current state of affairs in science, and many of the currently “mainstream narratives and theories”, that I was on the FREAKING NOSE with ALL OF IT, absolutely through and through. So that was from the universe, as funnily enough I had also literally asked not even half a day prior, an absolute elbow-to-the-face wakeup call and confirmation that in fact, I had been, and was VERY MUCH on the right path with both my passions, and my contributions and works towards said passions like my theories, at least for now, so I was not and had not been spewing fairytales or nonsense, which besides having now knowledge about the mathematics, was a constant source of the most amount of insecurity and anxiety and fears for me. So needless to say, that gave me an incomprehensible boost in motivation, desire, and courage, which allowed me to begin diving into the mathematics of all of this too. Like for example, the very first god damn post I had on this website, was I believe about the center of black holes and how I postulated there was this “Planck scale object” or whatever I called it, at their center as the “singularity”, well, it just so happens that via Carlo Rovelli I found out that loop quantum gravity’s one main postulations is also the fact that there’s a freaking “Planck star” as they call it, at the center of black holes, which is just SO poetic it’s amazing, that it both LITERALLY and metaphorically “comes back to the start, to the first blog post”. That whole thing about black holes in that framework turns into an absolutely amazingly beautiful, complex, but logical thing in itself.
As for the theories themselves specifically, I don’t really want to spoil too much just in case I feel like getting around to simply posting about them in detail, which I wish to do, but the dumbass I am I simply can’t find the time or “bother” to do it lmfao. So at first I wanted to post, but I had “nothing to talk or post about”, now I have too much stuff to post about, but I “can’t be bothered / am busy”, you can’t make this up. Anyway including but not limited to, like I believe 2 or 3 separate theories that pretty compellingly bridge general relativity and quantum mechanics which I believe I told in any one of my previous posts, are on no speaking terms currently, two separate rulesets that are incompatible with each other, and they bridge them through for example, putting the laws of thermodynamics, aka. one of our universe’s absolute fundamental rulesets, as the front and center of it all. I mean, as I just stated they already pretty much are, but I’ve yet to see strictly any current “scientist” or “theory” out there EXPLICITLY do that, and put emphasis on it. And surprise surprise, when I did that, and looking at a certain and astute enough angle, general relativity and quantum mechanics could not have been more connected, and the universe in general could not have become more fucking beautiful, beautifully complex, rich, deep, and so incomprehensibly awe-inspiring if it tried. More theories about the fundamental nature of black holes. A recent theory about the origins of gravity through stuff we already know about, and could relatively easily confirm or rule out, utilizing the Higgs field, shortly basically, how disturbances in the Higgs field, made by particles that again get their mass through interactions with the Higgs field, both logically and plausibly could be interpreted as “gravity”. Think of it as the magnetic field of an electron / electric field that’s in motion, instead of at rest. And as an analogy, think of it as sprinting on the ground on land, and how it feels, versus doing it in waist-deep water, how it feels and looks like. And there’s way more freaking theories about so many more things, not even just about physics or the universe, but some other things too like number theory, neuropsychology / consciousness / stuff to do with the brain in general, general mathematics, and whatever else I am forgetting at the moment but can’t be bothered to go looking up currently. As stated, I didn’t even know where to start when it came to the theories hahaha, it has been a beautifully rich and fertile landscape, only made that much more so by my studies into the mathematics and rapidly further deepening understanding of the fundamental things and universe as a result.
And I believe that is it and what has been mostly happening, at least all the interesting parts, for this past 6 months with me. And that was still only scratching the tip of the iceberg. As the summer approaches again now and this website and intellectual journey of mine as a whole are rapidly approaching a year old already, holy crap time, perhaps I’ll find the “right feeling and time” to start writing again, because something about the approaching summer months like end of April / May and onwards, just… has me feeling differently, where I can get stuff like this done as witnessed last year. If you know, you know. Anyway thank you for reading this pretty skeleton thrown together post about what’s been going on, whoever, and I appreciate you have / had an excellent / excellent rest of your day! :)
